Friday, January 1, 2010

Welcome to the blog!

(Damn, I wanted to have a much cleverer title for our first blog post, but then again there's something to be said for simplicity and straightforwardness, right?) And what's with the exclamation point? "Welcome to the blog!" I always try to avoid those because, as F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said, "An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own joke." Then again, I do like my own jokes!

There is an awful Barry Manilow song blasting on my iTunes. I had the volume cranked up because the last song was Cher's "Just Like Jesse James," and you have to crank Cher up, especially if your downstairs 86-year-old gay-closeted-Republican-chainsmoking-bad-piano-playing neighbor ("Flubberace") is randomly banging on piano keys and you need to drown him out (while fantasizing about him actually drowning). But now it's Barry Manilow and it's a song I didn't even know we had. Let me check the title...OK, it's "The Kid Inside" from his album "Showstoppers." Wow, seriously sappy. Or is that sappily serious? Well, it beats random key pounding...but just barely. OK, now it's a Beastie Boys mashup so I'll turn the volume and the testosterone back up.

I want to thank (and dedicate this first blog post to) my Facebook friend Joseph DeSalvayon, who for the past year or two has incessantly nagged (actually, the word he and I use is "nudged") me to start this blog. Well, it finally worked. Well done, Joseph. You and I have a lot in common, because I always nag (I mean "nudge") Duane the Ape until I finally get my way. Over the years, it has started to take a lot less nag/nudging. It's like in the later episodes of "I Love Lucy," when Ricky would give in easily to Lucy because he (and we) by that point knew that he eventually would anyway, so why fight it? Of course, if it turns out that whatever idea I had was wrong or even disastrous, that's when I blame the Ape for not fighting back and for giving in too easily. Either way, it's a win-win for me-me. (I really hate the expression "win-win" but I've just decided that my cutesy "me-me" is far worse.)

The Ape is going to be co-writing this blog with me, on his laptop, from his perch at the kitchen counter where he can usually be found bent over, unselfconsciously (that's not a word but I like it) leaning all of his weight on one leg and thrusting his cute little butt out. I will often glance over to my left (from the desk) just to check it out, but I never let him know, sitcom-style (just like how you knew Mr. Roper on "Three's Company" was really attracted to Mrs. Roper, but he feigned disinterest to keep the upper hand).

I have so much to say but the Ape is waiting to take me for Chinese food, our New Year's Day tradition. He's flexing both biceps right now (or as he says, "I'm jus' stretchin'!!"), which I guess is my signal to finish this and get dressed. You do know I'm always completely naked at my desk, right?


  1. i never knew you were naked at your desk but i have seen pics of the ape on his laptop at the counter. you two are a cute couple and i know that i am going to enjoy reading your blog. xoxoxoxoxo
    cant wait for the next one.
    shannon =)

  2. Nice start to what I hope to be more blogs. It make my day to see The Ape and you to see what crazy shit that old queen downstairs is doing. He is probably masterbating, wondering what you two are doing.
    Keep the blog up ( and a few other things)
    Happy New Year

  3. Great to see you guys blogging.... You need to get that theme song "Apeman" playing here!. If you boys ever take a vacation in Phoenix (you know it's 70 today)... let me know. I'd love to show you the town and just hang with the two of you. You guys are the funniest thing on the web for me!

  4. good luck with blog and all the best for bouth of you :)
    Greatings Aca Dobosh yor friend from FB :)

  5. Yay, I get to be the first to comment... I have been waiting for this and am SO glad that you're going to be blogging on a regular basis. You know I was always a fan of your writing.

  6. I do agree with Kristin...:)
    Started a blog some years ago too..but u kwew it already :)
    And this IS great to follow you here too :))

  7. Thanks, you guys/gals! It sure is great not to have to limit myself to 420 characters. :)

  8. Yay! I'm glad you guys finally started blogging. You two are so totally "woofy"!

  9. I'm glad you and the Ape started 2010 on the right foot by blogging.I'll be sure to check it out(and I linked the blog to mine as well)

  10. Hehehe Loves It
    Good Blog. I never bother to read blogs and I couldn't stop reading! Thanks For being you!

  11. Thanks for the warm welcome! I have so many topics running through my head...this is gonna be fun. :)

  12. Last night at a NYE party, a lesbian couple said taht Chinese food is good luck on New Years. Same for you guys? I never heard of that before. That aside, I agree with so many others that you are so much fun to read about and laugh with. I hope you will bring your act to South Florida!

  13. You know me...blow on my funny bone and I'll follow you anywhere. Your posts are always the highlight of my FB surfing, but now I will know to come here first. And you got The Ape writing, too! (OOPS! Exclamation point!) 2010 will be a really good year after all...Oh, yeah, P.S.: If you ever post that image of you, naked and blogging at your desk, I just want you to know that will automatically become my new desktop wallpaper... ;-)

    Your FB Friend, Sam G.

  14. I'm glad to finally see some posts. I won't tell how many times I've come here since i became a fan of you guys, just to read what probably isn't allowable on facebook

  15. Dick & Duane
    Congrats !!! Good luck with this NEW blog !!
    Lot of hugs
    Nick (from FB)

  16. Hi Guys. I'm your 80th follower. Do I get a complementry nakid pic of the two of you?

  17. As a marketing tool 'always naked at my desk..' is up there with the best of 'em Richie ;-)

    Congrats on joining the blogosphere fellas! (are we allowed one exclamation point per post?)

    Slavering with excitement at what lies ahead...

  18. Keep it going guys, I'll be following ya menz!

  19. Hey Richie. As you say, how great not to be limited to 420 characters. Loving getting a mental image of you at work (and the ape). Actually, with my overactive imagination, I am REALLY lovin' it.

    BTW - unselfconsciously is a word. Adverb derivative of unselfconscious meaning 'not suffering from or exhibiting selfconsciousness, not shy or embarrassed.'

    and isn't that a wonderful way to imagine the ape's hairy butt?

  20. Chinese food might be lucky on NYE but we have it on NYD! Maybe it's lucky for lesbians on the Eve and for apes/monkeys on the Day. :P

    Thanks, Jason (and anyone else who has been checking this page to see if we'd written anything yet). We ape-preciate your patience. But I don't think it's going to be a porn-blog! I think things are sexier when they're suggested.

    Yes, John, I think one "!" per post is the limit! (oops, I did it again)

    Thanks, Samuel and everyone else. :)

    Son of a gun...I didn't think unselfconsciously was a word. Word (as the kids say).


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