Welcome to the blog!

(Damn, I wanted to have a much cleverer title for our first blog post, but then again there's something to be said for simplicity and straightforwardness, right?) And what's with the exclamation point? "Welcome to the blog!" I always try to avoid those because, as F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said, "An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own joke." Then again, I do like my own jokes!

There is an awful Barry Manilow song blasting on my iTunes. I had the volume cranked up because the last song was Cher's "Just Like Jesse James," and you have to crank Cher up, especially if your downstairs 86-year-old gay-closeted-Republican-chainsmoking-bad-piano-playing neighbor ("Flubberace") is randomly banging on piano keys and you need to drown him out (while fantasizing about him actually drowning). But now it's Barry Manilow and it's a song I didn't even know we had. Let me check the title...OK, it's "The Kid Inside" from his album "Showstoppers." Wow, seriously sappy. Or is that sappily serious? Well, it beats random key pounding...but just barely. OK, now it's a Beastie Boys mashup so I'll turn the volume and the testosterone back up.

I want to thank (and dedicate this first blog post to) my Facebook friend Joseph DeSalvayon, who for the past year or two has incessantly nagged (actually, the word he and I use is "nudged") me to start this blog. Well, it finally worked. Well done, Joseph. You and I have a lot in common, because I always nag (I mean "nudge") Duane the Ape until I finally get my way. Over the years, it has started to take a lot less nag/nudging. It's like in the later episodes of "I Love Lucy," when Ricky would give in easily to Lucy because he (and we) by that point knew that he eventually would anyway, so why fight it? Of course, if it turns out that whatever idea I had was wrong or even disastrous, that's when I blame the Ape for not fighting back and for giving in too easily. Either way, it's a win-win for me-me. (I really hate the expression "win-win" but I've just decided that my cutesy "me-me" is far worse.)

The Ape is going to be co-writing this blog with me, on his laptop, from his perch at the kitchen counter where he can usually be found bent over, unselfconsciously (that's not a word but I like it) leaning all of his weight on one leg and thrusting his cute little butt out. I will often glance over to my left (from the desk) just to check it out, but I never let him know, sitcom-style (just like how you knew Mr. Roper on "Three's Company" was really attracted to Mrs. Roper, but he feigned disinterest to keep the upper hand).

I have so much to say but the Ape is waiting to take me for Chinese food, our New Year's Day tradition. He's flexing both biceps right now (or as he says, "I'm jus' stretchin'!!"), which I guess is my signal to finish this and get dressed. You do know I'm always completely naked at my desk, right?